8.1.20 by Mike Haley
Okay okay okay, I don’t want to waste anyone’s time! Gonna make this very fast. Almost TOO fast, maybe? You could be thinking “whoa, slow the h*ck down this is TOO fast!!” I don’t care, we gotta get this done.
Strategic Tape Reserve (who you know, or should know) posted the vid STR020-STR042 Release Survey. It includes 8 seconds from each and every title in their bonked out catalog. Look, I can prove it:
See? I was telling the truth. To piggy back on the absurdity I asked STR to submit 8 words on each release. You can find them below, but a warning: We at Tabs Out cannot confirm that each of these is exactly 8 words. If you happen upon one with, for example, 6 or 9 words (heh heh) please contact us IMMEDIATELY as we will need to send STR to cassette jail (aka: they can only release 3″ CDrs for two years). Enjoy!
STR002 (VLK): STR’s second release revisits Shaquille O’Neill’s second release.
STR003 (STR Staff): Wait, but what about STR001? Um… that’s lost.
STR004 (VLK): Last sounds in billboard list just before Y2K.
STR005 (Beauty Product): Cheese-funk done three ways. Retirement community wave.
STR006 (The Modern Door): Ethnographic recordings of traditional musicians from Lower Saxony.
STR007 (VLK): Leckeyan survey of schunkeln, congalines and arrhythmic clapping.
STR008 (Jöns): If Jöns sends you a demo, DON’T respond.
STR009 (Belmont Lacroix): Nothing matters under Mr. Chicken on Rialto Boulevard.
STR010 (Emerging Industries of Wuppertal): Music for North German industry-themed gymnastic spectaculars.
STR011 (moduS ponY / Belmost Lacroix): STR’s shortest cassette. Banana confection. Legs akimbo.
STR012 (Mr & Mrs Chip Perkins): Sad New Jersey yuppies’ dinner party doom-lounge.
STR013 (Youth Championships): Frank Lloyd Wright’s estranged son invented Lincoln Logs.
STR014 (VLK): Conservative radio / Canadian pop punk in a Camry.
STR015 (moduS ponY): Talking people get distorted. Everything is contorted. Ouch.
STR016 (Emerging Industries of Wuppertal): Polyolefin cracking models consumer-grade music production processes.
STR017 (Zherbin): Eerie tape loops from Finland. Unsettling. Also spooky.
STR018 (The Tuesday Night Machines): Low-bit Alpine hymns. Peeks crushed. Gameboys yodel.
STR019 (The Blank Holidays): Noisy folk freakouts. Please don’t really break things.
STR020 (Suko & moduS): Long distance collaborative odd-lounge with cow sample.
STR021 (Emerging Industries of Wuppertal): Hacker shit. Recorded using a home desktop computer.
STR022 (V/A): “Jock Jams” for low-velocity pole-walking enthusiasts.
STR023 (The Tuesday Night Machines): Made under canvas with locally-sourced tropical audio.
STR024 (moduS & VLK): Intercontinental camaraderie. Diocletian’s hometown imparts format and tone.
STR025 (HAWN): Post-incident pulled apart New Orleans no-wave.
STR026 (Whettman Chelmets): Old 4track tapes plundered. Which ones? Nobody remembers.
STR027 (Gwasg Gelert): Illicit, unauthorized Welsh-language Dan Brown audiobook soundtrack.
STR028 (V/A): Big dreams of small supermarkets. Wear a mask!
STR029 (Nicholas Langley): Essential nutrients. Brighton based krauty surf rock reworks.
STR030 (Severino Pfifferling): Wasser wird durch rotierende Sprüharme auf Geschirr gesprüht.
STR031 (qualchan.): Woozy Pacific Northwest night walks. Watch your footing.
STR032 (The Tuesday Night Machines): TTNM’s 2nd tent-based tape – ON A CAR.
STR033 („DJ VLK”): Ja – la la la, la la la… Scheißegal!
STR034 (V/A): A shop window memorial of odd audio curios.
STR035 (Uli Federwisch): Helicopter rescue anthem. Synth sax to the max.
STR036 (Q///Q): Lost voices recovered from a bed of noise.
STR037 (Wether): Athletically-gifted pet inherits found tapes, modular synths.
STR038 (Leaaves): The appropriate number of worlds for such sound.
STR039 (Chorchill): Whispers on the Ruhr. Where is Apel Okuyan?
STR040 (STR Staff): NOT an audio codebook. Just some normal synthpop.
STR041 (The Tuesday Night Machines): Wooden synthesizers. Felt j-card. Actually from the future.
STR042 (Whettman Chelmets / qualchan.) :Release prediction! Chelmets / qualchan. tape in September 2020.
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