Birthdae – Golden Meditation
1.23.15 by Mike Haley

Synth nerds love to appropriate new-age imagery. They’re always making covers for their records with a Dolphin giving Bishnu a ride through outer space, everybody smoking checkerboard triangles. I look at that for 4.3 seconds and I’m like: Man, I know you’re not that chill. So you can just imagine what my judgmental ass was like when I got my first glimpse of the Birthdae “Golden Meditation” cassette, released back in November on Radical Dreamers. Let’s talk about first impressions with this one. So, on the cover, there are hands. Hands adorn with four vibrant colors of nail polish (pink, yellow, blue, and green). The hands are holding, what else, an orb. Of course it’s an orb, but not just a regular orb. No, brother. This orb has a sunrise inside of it. A sunrise over a body of water, just to make it that much more enchanted. And all of that over a God damn triangle (not the only triangle on the packaging. There are several more). The next panel of the artwork shows one of the hands, now open, with the same nail polish colors, though in a different order, which freaks me out. Each finger is labeled: Golden Knowledge, Golden Intuition, Golden Glow, Golden Vision, and Golden Dust. The cover is peppered with inspirationalish quotes like “YOU ARE GOLDEN, ENJOY!” and “It is YOU, *YOU* SEE.” Wait, though. I didn’t get to the best part. Instructions on how to make a “meditation pyramid” that you can wear while listening to “enhance” the “magic of the GOLDEN MEDITATION” are on the next panel.

That sharp pain in your noggin is Birthdae beating you over the head with this. Do you get it?! Okay.

I throw the tape in the deck, thinking I’m going to be regaled by some Grade D, factory farmed drone for the next half hour. A few seconds after pressing play, the flowery tone kicks in, but then shit get’s real. Like, really real. “Welcome, here. So happy to see you here again. Remember, you were invited to be here today. ” says a super calm, slightly processed voice. Since there are tracks listed on the Jcard, and the first one is called “Welcome Here”, I assumed that this was a funny way to open the tape. Something that would incorporate itself with the artwork, and then move on. Then I hear a women’s reverberated voice. “Moving fluid, moving in. In and out and in and in. Me moving me.” It’s becoming clear that Birthdae is apparently committed to this. Committed to making an actual motivational, meditative, relaxation inspiring, spiritual journey tape. And fucking good on them. Because, somehow, I feel like they nailed it. Like it’s not a joke, but they are really feeling this fluid moving thing or whatever. I don’t know, it’s not my thing, but it’s cool that it’s theirs. Also, the fact that the music is actually REALLY fucking good doesn’t hurt either. The entire tape (which is single sided…bummer.) is drenched with flushed synthesizer movements, but there is much, much more going on here. Charged tribal beats and jolts of kosmische musik litter this tape, and very, very nicely I might add. The tracks all blend together, thanks to the pretty flawless transitions. The music on this tape could easily stand alone, and the whole ‘my body is a vessel carrying my inner self’ vibe is pulled off as well. I listened on headphones a few times, and hell, I’ll admit it. I’m relaxed. Bravo, Birthdae, bravo. You made an amazing tape. I’ll make my meditation pyramid out of construction paper this weekend.

You can make yours after buying this single sided C30 from Ohio’s Radical Dreamers here. Listen below and get chill.