ASPS – double cassette
1.12.18 by Mike Haley

What a cretin, this ASPS double cassette. The nerve of it, thinking it can plop down anywhere it pleases and unload it’s grease traps. I’m talking coffers of slushy, pit-stained patterns. And the smell! Awww, it’s so oddly tart. Since when does audio have a smell? The dog wont even eat this up, and that beast has eaten it’s own vomit, puked it up, then ate it’s own puke. But this ASPS double cassette? Half way through one of the four 10-12 minutes sides and all of a sudden this mutt thinks it’s Special Times Just Right.

Maybe the pooch has a point. This ASPS double cassette is gross. Not gross in the intentional way, like some bozo playing with himself through a chain of Danelectro® Burnt Toast™ distortion pedals (though there may be some of that in the artwork). This ASPS double cassette is gross because it isn’t self aware. It’s socially awkward, forever a boogie on the brink of breaching it’s nostril. While that may be a death sentence for a fourth grader, it works wonders for magnetic tape daubed by bubbly-skinned mutant music.

Okay, roll it back. I need to give this ASPS double cassette more credit than I am, because I don’t want anyone to get the impression that this ASPS double cassette is bad. It’s not! This ASPS double cassette is gross, sure, but it’s super alive with interesting rhythms and loops that sound like they are coming out of steam cleaners and Soda Streams. And steam cleaners clean things, so maybe it’s not gross? Damn, I am so confused, and I blame this ASPS double cassette (note to self: find out if ASPS is pronounced “Ass Piss”).

I’m doing it again, aren’t I? I’m talking about this ASPS double cassette in the same breath as asses and pisses. Well, I don’t know what to say! Maybe by the time you power through the 45 minutes of this ASPS double cassette you’ll have the same sort of film on your skin that I do. Maybe your dog (and mine is a rescue btw, yr welcome) will look at you differently. Maybe it will be because ASPS gazed into the noise-techno abyss and when the abyss gazed back, ASPS farted on it then sampled the fart on this ASPS double cassette in a very captivating way. Captivating, but still damp with all the charm of stranger’s basement. Which is gross. Ideas slosh into each other through the crowded halls of four side-long tracks with varying degrees of self control. Drones plot along like Velcro, damaged by jarring interruptions. I don’t know? Maybe you’ll dig this ASPS double cassette because you are weird.

Buy it from Nostorca then get back to me, ya filthy animal.